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I regret that through out years I had not built a fanbase outside of NG. Most of them are just anonymous posting here and there, probing for random experimental projects, including ARMA 3 Resist. And when I decided to leave here, it's maybe time to consider that I should stop depending on this community.
I used to consider NG to be my home. Where things and places are neccessary warm and welcoming. NG is where I first made my beginning stance on sharing music. It was a great platform for newbie musicians. But I'm not newbie anymore. I hate to consider myself as experienced composer, but look like time has outgrown my thought. I thought, I could be one of the few last veteran composers standing in this community and reaching out to help and comfort new musicians.
But then enters the community. It has always been a hit and miss with this community. Non-stop drama. Like if the shit was hilarious then I wouldn't say anything. Just endless childish drama, dragging from one to another. And like a friend of mine used to say: "A bunch of grown-asses acting like manchilds". This is what happened to this community. NGAP can never grow beyond the boring infighting, jealousy, envy, hatred and backward thinking, that these people all believed other more mature and experienced users are out to get their asses.
Everyone here, especially the mods and the current contest judges, both have their own little world and fantasy. Delusion into believing the world would revolve around them all the time. I was easy going with some of the people on here, the top brass, but I could never get close to them no matter how hard I tried. They have their own ego bubble and aura of self-importance that you might as well as avoid them. What I was thinking even tried to be friend with them.
Evidently how they shot down Peter Satera because he was giving advices. Yes all he did was giving criticism to the contest. What was the reply? Like if they were attacking the topics, then I wouldn't say shit. But they were attacking him, like ad hominem straight ahead. Interesting matter is this happened in the past, where Peter did exactly the same thing, giving complaint and advice in another NGADM and got shot down.
People don't feel for other. They at least should have some manner. But nah it's "power trumps experience". And that's what happening here. I'm gonna say all these shit before they come for my ass. People are leaving. And many of them are my friends. It's sad to see the state of things have to end here. Not just sad, but disappointing.
I'll start bulding fanbase on other platforms. Will definitely be way smaller than NG, but at least I know that I could stay away from these toxic drama. Now that I have much more experience than 10 years ago, it's definitely time to move on.
I'm thankful for all the help, advice, support and work come from amazing people like backwardecho, BlueOceans, Mattashi, larrynachos, TheOverGhoul, Ceevro, Ectisity, Chrono, Megabit (MithyxSounds), MysticsSkillz, JacobCadmus... Many thanks to Kelpalots for her awesome knowledge and experience. Big thanks to RealFaction, at least he stays true to his heart. And ForgottenDawn for being a guidance. And this five people that I respect and admire the most, that their talents and heart always deepest: LSD, Jordi, Phono, SoundChris and Peter.
I know I said I had beef with the mods and judges, but there is an exception, Troisnyx. I don't blame her. She's emotional like I am and I feel that she's not intended to be angry or hurtful to people. And Trois' pasts are full of suffering, I understand they affect her current feeling and way of action. I put myself in her shoes and she's a good person. And now she's helping to make the community a bit better. I appreciate that. I still have hope Troisnyx can be the rolling stone that break this bad wall of drama away from the community. But that's just my opinion.
I will not delete my stuff here, unless the mods 'accidentally' wipe them out. They are Public Domain Mark 1.0, meaning free for any uses, or copyleft. And you do not need any permission from me. For the collabs, ask LSD for permission cos he hold the license right.
Take care, and well being for all!